Comfortable self-pleasure positions to soothe an aching pelvis
Pelvic discomfort touches the lives of roughly one in five Australian women at some point, and for those living with endometriosis the figure climbs even higher according to Endometriosis Australia. Menstrual cramps, postpartum recovery, scar tissue from surgery, or a long shift on concrete floors at a weekend market can leave the lower belly and hips tender. When the pelvis aches, many people quietly put pleasure on hold, assuming that any kind of sexual stimulation will worsen the pain. In reality, the right position, the right props, and a slower pace can turn solo touch into a welcome form of relief rather than something to avoid.
Self-pleasure is increasingly recognised by Australian pelvic health physiotherapists as a useful way to release tension in the pelvic floor and to boost blood flow to the area. The key is listening to what your body is asking for on that particular day. Some days call for warmth and stillness; other days welcome a little more movement, as long as the lower back is supported. Body literacy matters at every age, and resources such as first period conversations sit within the same wider conversation about understanding the pelvis that helps people of all ages. A few small adjustments to posture, the height of a pillow, or the angle of your hips can change the experience entirely. Below are four positions that tend to feel manageable when the pelvis is sore, along with ways to make each one your own.
Curled on your side with a pillow between the knees
Lying on your side in a loose fetal position is often the first thing a pelvic health clinician suggests because it takes pressure off the sacroiliac joints and the lower back. Draw your knees up slightly, slide a firm pillow or a rolled doona between them, and let the top hip drift forward so the pelvis is not twisted. Use one hand to support your head and the other to explore whatever feels good, whether that is light stroking of the inner thigh or direct touch. Many people find that a small vibrator with a softer setting, easily ordered from local retailers that comply with Therapeutic Goods Administration guidelines, adds a gentle hum without demanding much movement.
If the side you are lying on begins to ache, switch sides or slide a thin cushion under the ribcage to lift the upper body slightly. In summer, when much of inland Australia shimmers through 38-degree days, this position works beautifully on a bed with a fan nearby, and the breeze can be a pleasant distraction from any lingering discomfort. The key is to keep the spine long rather than curled tightly, which keeps the pelvic floor muscles in a more neutral, less guarded state. A wheat bag warmed and placed across the hip joint can add another layer of soothing warmth.
Reclined against a wedge or bolster
A semi-reclined posture is kind to a sore lower back because the torso is supported and the hip crease is slightly open. Lean back against a wedge pillow, a bolster, or a stack of regular pillows arranged into a slope. Your knees can be bent with the feet flat on the mattress, or you can let the legs fall open gently to the sides. Some people like to place a folded towel under the sacrum for extra lift, which shortens the distance between hand and body and reduces the amount of reaching required.
This position works well during a heavy period because gravity is not pulling blood downward as forcefully as it does when you are upright. A warm drink, a cup of peppermint or raspberry leaf tea from a local grocer, can settle the stomach while you settle into the moment. If your pelvis feels particularly tight, try a few small rocks of the pelvis forward and back once you are settled, allowing the lower back to gently press into the support behind you.
| Position | Best for | Pillow or prop | Energy level |
|---|---|---|---|
| Side-lying curl | Lower back and hip joint pain | Pillow between knees, optional head cushion | Very low |
| Reclined on wedge | Heavy period days, abdominal tenderness | Wedge or stacked pillows, towel under sacrum | Low to moderate |
| Tabletop with lowered chest | Deep hip pressure, post-surgery recovery | Cushion under chest, pillow under knees | Low |
| Seated on firm edge | Short sessions, limited mobility | Firm chair, footstool, hand-held toy | Low |
Tabletop with a lowered chest
Coming onto hands and knees can feel counterintuitive when the pelvis aches, yet lowering the chest toward the mattress turns it into a supported resting pose. Bring the knees hip-width apart, slide a soft cushion or a folded blanket under the chest, and rest the forehead on a smaller pillow or on stacked hands. The hips stay high, which encourages the pelvic organs to hang slightly forward, taking pressure off the back wall of the pelvis. From here, a hand can reach underneath, between or beside the thighs, to touch whatever feels right.
This posture is particularly popular among people recovering from laparoscopy or those managing vulvodynia, because no weight rests on the pubic bone and the lower back is in a gentle extension. In cooler parts of Australia, layering a soft throw over the lower legs keeps the body warm without adding weight to the pelvis. Move slowly, and pause if any movement brings a sharp sensation; the goal is to invite pleasure in, not to push through pain. For visual reference, the photo gallery shows how others arrange pillows and props in similar poses, which can be useful if you learn by looking.
Seated on the edge of a firm chair
When lying down feels like too much effort, sitting on a firm chair with a straight back offers a different kind of support. Let the feet rest flat on the floor or on a low footstool, with the knees at roughly ninety degrees. A small cushion on the seat can soften the contact point under the sit bones if they feel tender. One or both hands can remain free to touch, and a hand-held toy can be used without much reach.
This position is helpful for people with limited mobility, for those who simply want a shorter session, or for anyone who feels light-headed when flat on their back. In a Hobart winter, when the house stays cold well into the morning, sitting up means a dressing gown stays wrapped around the shoulders without bunching uncomfortably. A mug of warm tea within reach and a locked door are usually all that is needed to feel safe enough to linger.
Simple habits that keep pleasure comfortable
A few everyday practices make these positions easier to return to whenever the pelvis flares up, and they work alongside any medical care you are receiving in Australia.
- Keep a small basket of soft props near the bed: a wheat bag, a wedge pillow, a folded throw, and a water-based lubricant that meets TGA standards.
- Schedule solo time after a warm shower, when blood flow to the pelvic region is naturally increased and muscles are softer.
- Use a period cup or soft cloth pads from Australian brands if tampons or disposable pads tend to irritate the vulva during flare-ups.
- Book an annual check-in with a pelvic floor physiotherapist, especially if pain persists beyond a week or two, and ask your GP about a Medicare-subsidised plan.
- Keep a pleasure journal noting which positions felt best on which day, so you can spot patterns related to your cycle, stress, or sleep.
- Choose silicone or glass toys that are non-porous and easy to clean, which is the standard recommended by Sexual Health Victoria.
Whichever position you choose, the most powerful adjustment is the permission to stop, slow down, or shift the moment your body asks for it. Pleasure is a resource that belongs to you, and on the days when the pelvis aches it can be one of the gentlest forms of relief available. Start with a pillow, a warm drink, and a few unhurried minutes, and let the body teach you what it needs next.